I need to move out...

Okay so I currently live with my parents and have now for the last 2 almost 3 years and it's starting to take its toll on me and my parents. They don't understand that I'm sick of being questioned and having to explain every move I make and unfortunately because of that I now have an attitude every time I have to answer any of there questions. Well that just blew up in my face because now both my parents are mad at me because of my attitude problem. I feel like a teenager. I hate this, I hate conflict and of course, they take no responsibility and can do no wrong. When I tell them why I have an attitude and that I’m sick of always being questions for every little move I make they say my attitude is unwarranted. I really need to move out and get my own place finally. I was going to wait until April 1st, because I’m planning a trip to Germany in March and my mom is going to go through her radiation in February and March, but I think I’m going to start looking now for maybe February 1st. The only thing is though I think I will have to stop Jenny, because I don’t think I will be able to afford my own place, my new car and Jenny. I don’t know, we will see.

I understand, because I've been there...

I just found out that Scott took his own life. I'm sad, it makes me really sad because I've been there and I understand how he must have felt. I have suffered from some pretty major depression and I have been suicidal before. I know how painful it is and that there isn't a lot the people around you can do to help you. I wish there was something I could have done, I wish I had reached out to him and I wish we had become better friends. I don’t know what happens after you die, but I hope that wherever he is, he’s at peace. No one should have to live with depression.

Tragedies

In the past two months, I have heard about 4 people who have passed and they were all in there 20's. The first was Josie, who I've spoken about in a previous post. Then last week I found out that a guy I used to work with, Scott passed away (reason unknown). On the same day, I also found out that my old roommate’s younger brother was murdered and then today, today I found out a friend of mine form high school's fiancé has passed away. I don't know what's going on, it's overwhelming. All these people were here one day and gone the next. Except for Scott none of them and there families knew that there last days were there last. I'm struggling to rap my head around it all. What are we supposed to learn from it all? I don't think I can take anymore of this so I beg everyone to please be careful, drive safe and live each day, as if it's your last.

Back on track

Okay so I'm back on track and officially 40 pounds lighter. I know I'm taking this slow, but I think that it is the only way to succeed.

A good start too 2008

I decided after more then 2 weeks to finally step on a scale. I haven't been to Jenny in like 3 maybe even 4 weeks now. However, I do have an appointment for this coming Sunday. Anyway, so I did it and I was in so much shock because I'm now down 38 pounds. I couldn't believe, that is almost 40 pounds and I'm hoping that's what it will be on Sunday. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed.

It been a while...

I know it's been a while since my last post. I've taken a break from Jenny for the holidays and I've managed to keep my 30 pound loss. I'll be getting back on track in the new year to start losing again.

A lot has happened since my last post. I bought a new car, that I pick up next week. It's a 2008 black Corolla Sport. I bought a new laptop, which I am on right now and I love it. I got my hair cut, it's short but not to short. Overall I'm just looking forward to New Years Eve and the new year in general.

In Memory of Josie Ferlito 1981-2007

Josie was a person that I had met in my previous department. She was a beautiful person and so full of life. Yesterday, Tues, Dec 4, 2007 she was involved in a tragic car accident were she succumbed to her injuries. She was 26 years old. She was always laughing and smiling and was the life of the party. Everyone who had the pleasure of meeting her loved here.

I'm stuggling to understand why...why she was the one who had to be taken from us at such a young age. I understand that people die and that it's the way of life, but I can't understand why her and why in the way she did? I can't stop thinking about her family, close friends and boyfriend. I'm mad that we kept push off getting together thinking we had all the time in the world. What I wouldn't do to see her and say goodbye.