So Friday was…”The Day”.

The day I met my surgeon for the first time. Earlier in the week the office called me to change my appointment from 3:00 to 2:00 and also moved it to a further location. I was okay with that, but when we got there on Friday for 2:00 on the nose, we waited until 4:10 before we got in to see him. I was a little annoyed by that, but I guess it is to be expected in the medical field. What got me even more annoyed was the fact they ask you to bring a loved one or family member for support. I wanted to bring my mom, but unfortunately, she was scheduled for a last minute meeting that she absolutely could not get out of, so I ask my brother if he could come. He of course said yes, because I have a wonderful brother, but after asking him to leave work so early, just to sit in a waiting room for over 2 hours and then only seeing the surgeon for 20 minutes…I was disappointed I dragged him out. Oh…and let us not forget about the traffic on the way there and back.

As I mentioned the appointment, itself was only 20 minutes give or take. Because I was already so well versed on the different procedures, we flew by that part of the appointment and really, after that, there was nothing left to talk about. I gave him a brief history and told him which procedure I was interested in most. I was happy to find out that the do perform the sleeve however; do not recommend it due to the lack of data. He advised me I will come back to see him in a few weeks and we will decide then on which procedure is best. Really…the whole appointment felt like a big formality, so it was disappointing to say the least.

This whole thing has proven to be quite the process so far. At this point I'm looking to get all this over with and put it behind me, so that i can move on with my new life.

Introduction to my new life...

Yesterday was my introduction to weight loss surgery. I was surprised that I was the youngest one there. I don’t even think there were people in there 30’s. Everyone seem to be women in there 40’ and 50’ with grown kids. I was a little disappointed about this. I was hoping I could bond with someone, who is in the same stage of life as I am. Oh well…I digress.

The class was a great learning experience. There wasn’t a lot that I didn’t already know, but it was nice to discuss weight loss surgery, face to face and be able to ask questions with professionals. The funny part was all the fake food, portioned off that, the dietician had spread all over the table. We all took turns trying to figure out what they were supposed to be, for example, the “hamburger” looking like a piece of shit...LOL

I walked out feeling a little indifferent. I would like to think I can lose the weight on my own and that I don’t need something as drastic as weight loss surgery, but then the practical and logical side tells me if I could, I would. However, is that the truth or am I just lazy and don’t want to put forth the effort it would take to lose weight on my own and keep it off? I don’t know. I do know that I have been over weight all of my life…so something must be telling my body to be fat instead of thin.

It's about time...

So my journey is set to officially begin this week on Wednesday, when I go to a 3-hour information session, followed by my first appointment with my surgeon on Friday.

I’ve been trying not to obsess about the outcome and the future since my last post and I think I have been relatively successful in that. I have told my family and close friends and have been getting good feedback. The people I have told have known me for a long time and know I don’t do anything on a whim and that I am a research queen, so most everyone said good for you and we support any decision you make. They also know that I have been overweight since a child and are happy for me that I have made this decision.

I’ve been reading many blogs and watching many YouTube weight loss journeys. It has been very helpful to read and watch people who are going through the same thing as me. Sometimes it makes me sad and angry that we all have to deal with this and how simpler life could have been if weight wasn’t an issue, but such is life and I must move on.

I’m still anxious to get this going and wished I were on the other side. I want to embrace and learn from this experience too, but if I could just snap my fingers, it would be this time next year.

I want to thank everyone, who has the courage to write about there journeys and even more to the individuals who have the balls to post it in a video. I’m not sure I’m willing to put in the time to do that, but I’m grateful for the individuals who do.

Bucket List...

So I've decided to start somewhat of a bucket list (100 Things to do Before You Die) and I'm writing down all the things I want to do once I'm thin. I'm not even close to 100, but here is what I have so far:

Rock Climbing
Skydiving
Get a tattoo
Run a marathon
Zip line
Whitewater rafting

So far it is all very active things I feel I am limited in doing now because of my weight. I have this list on my iPhone and whenever i think of something new I add it on. I have decided for sure that I'm going to go sky diving before my 30th birthday in Sept 2011 and I should be under the weight limit by then (fingers crossed).

I’m making myself crazy…

Okay so I’m not a spontaneous person. I like to plan and know what the end result will be before getting myself involved in anything and this surgery is driving me crazy. I know I can’t know what I’m going to look like and how much weight I’m going to lose, but that hasn’t stopped me from going on YouTube and watching before and afters and watching peoples journeys through weight loss surgery. I was up until 1:00 last night and surprise, surprise I couldn’t sleep when I finally turned off my iphone and when I did finally fall asleep, I was wakened by dreams (nightmares) of what I’m going to look like.

New rule…no iphone in bed and no more obsessing about what is too come or what the end result will be. I need to take this one-step at a time and chill out (easier said then done, I know).

And my journey begins…

That is I received a call this week to set up my first appointment for bariatric surgery. My first appointment is in a month and no sooner did they book that one, but they followed it up with an e-mail that same day with 5 more appointments booked…over whelming, I know. My mind is spinning; I can’t stop thinking about how this could really happen before the year is up. My whole life is going to change as I know it, people won’t even recognize me and I’m afraid I won’t be able to recognize myself. I have so many questions for the surgeon. I’ve done all the research I can online and now the only ones who can answer my questions are the people at the clinic. I’m anxious, excited and nervous all at the same time. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping well until all this is done.

PS> As I have my appointments and obtain more information, I'll be posting my journey here.

PSS> An update, I'm now 28 years old and I've been over weight for as long as I can remember, so believe it or not I'm scared to lose the amount of weight I'm going to lose and hope I still recognize myself in the mirror.

Things are good...

I've been over the depression for a while. I'm not sure what that was or where it came from, but I'm glad I got it under control. I got my finances in check and things are good.

I'm thinking I should be hearing from the bariatric clinic soon for my first appointment. I'm glad I've had this time, to really make sure this is what I want and that I'm in the right frame of mind to go through the process of it all. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.