I'm sad today, thinking about what could be. We met with the oncologist for the first time yesterday and it finally hit me, my mom has cancer. It's funny though because at the same time I was thinking that my mom turned to me and said, “this is it I've been assimilated into cancer world". I want so much to believe that everything will work out and I'll be able to have my mom in my life for years to come. I want her so much to be there when I get married and have children, but my mind keeps bringing me back to the worst case scenario. I hate that my mind can't keep positive. I'm usually such an optimistic person, but right now I just can't seem to stay in that head space.
On top of everything I have to worry about my weight. Between Thanksgiving, being stressed and sick now for the past 2 weeks on top of not eating right and working out, I know I'm going have gained when I weight in on Sunday. Everything is working against me right now and that really sucks.
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