20th weigh in

Boo...I gained a pound this week. It was totally my fault, I didn't eat properly at all. I'm okay with it though and I'm feeling great. I've been dating and just feeling really happy and pleased with myself. I'm really starting to notice the weight lose and feel it. I have a lot of energy and I'm not feeling tired at all. It's great :)

My life in the past 5 years.

So I was thinking to myself, “When did I become so serious?” I used to be carefree and a lot more go with the flow and I didn’t used to worry so much about my future. Now I have a career, I’m thinking about buying a place, marriage, and children and over all just settling down. So I said to myself, what’s happened, what’s changed in my life over the past 5 years and when I really started thinking about it, it started making a whole lot of sense. I guess it all started when I turned 21, my mother’s best friend, who is like a second mother to me was diagnosed with breast cancer, shortly after that I experienced my first close family deaths, I lost two of my grandmothers in the same week, followed by my mom going into acute kidney failure (for the second time), my uncle (my mom’s younger brother) who was 49 at the time, died from lung cancer, my mother went on dialysis and then just a little under a year later, had her second kidney transplant (which had not gone smoothly), I lost my job and suffered from some pretty major depression, my 20 year old cat had to be put down, I lost a grandfather and then another one a few months later. I got my heart broken; my brother’s father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died a year later, followed closely by my mom being diagnosed with skin cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. That brings us to present day where my last grandfather died a few weeks ago and my mom had major surgery a few days after that, which will be followed by radiation, which is still to come. In our family we are the type of people to not complain, take things as they come, deal with it and move on. But I guess it does take its toll and alters who you are. Looking at it all being written down it seems like a lot and may even seem over whelming for some and that is probably why I have become as serious as I’ve gotten older, but I know that it is just life and I have to deal with it or it will control me.

19th weigh in

I lost 4 and 1/2 pounds this week. I'm so happy. I'm almost at 35 pound lost, it's awesome. I'm feeling great and I loving it. I'm right now watching SuperSize Me on TV and I can even imagine eating like that. I love being a vegetarian and I'm loving Jenny. Thing are good.

I went on a blind date this weekend, it didn't go well. I'm proud of myself for going for it though and taking the risk. I liked him, but I was not myself and we really are in separate stages in our lives. He made it easy though and I probably won't be so scared in the future. I definitely feel that losing weight is boosting my confidence.

17th and 18th weight in

I missed my 17th way in. My grandfather from Montreal who was to turn 90 in December passed away on Wed, Oct 31. Myself, my dad and brother headed to Montreal for the funeral and rushed back on the Sunday for my mom's surgery on Monday, Nov 5. My mom's surgery went well, it was supposed to be no more than 4 hours, but turned into 7 1/2. it was a really stressful day, but all turned out well.

I did go to my 18th weight in yesterday and I lost 2 pounds. It could have been better since that was for 2 weeks, but with the stress I went through between my grandfathers passing and my mom's surgery I would say I'm happy I didn't gain, because I was sure I had. I'm now back on track and trying to get back into my routine.