Bucket List...

So I've decided to start somewhat of a bucket list (100 Things to do Before You Die) and I'm writing down all the things I want to do once I'm thin. I'm not even close to 100, but here is what I have so far:

Rock Climbing
Skydiving
Get a tattoo
Run a marathon
Zip line
Whitewater rafting

So far it is all very active things I feel I am limited in doing now because of my weight. I have this list on my iPhone and whenever i think of something new I add it on. I have decided for sure that I'm going to go sky diving before my 30th birthday in Sept 2011 and I should be under the weight limit by then (fingers crossed).

I’m making myself crazy…

Okay so I’m not a spontaneous person. I like to plan and know what the end result will be before getting myself involved in anything and this surgery is driving me crazy. I know I can’t know what I’m going to look like and how much weight I’m going to lose, but that hasn’t stopped me from going on YouTube and watching before and afters and watching peoples journeys through weight loss surgery. I was up until 1:00 last night and surprise, surprise I couldn’t sleep when I finally turned off my iphone and when I did finally fall asleep, I was wakened by dreams (nightmares) of what I’m going to look like.

New rule…no iphone in bed and no more obsessing about what is too come or what the end result will be. I need to take this one-step at a time and chill out (easier said then done, I know).

And my journey begins…

That is I received a call this week to set up my first appointment for bariatric surgery. My first appointment is in a month and no sooner did they book that one, but they followed it up with an e-mail that same day with 5 more appointments booked…over whelming, I know. My mind is spinning; I can’t stop thinking about how this could really happen before the year is up. My whole life is going to change as I know it, people won’t even recognize me and I’m afraid I won’t be able to recognize myself. I have so many questions for the surgeon. I’ve done all the research I can online and now the only ones who can answer my questions are the people at the clinic. I’m anxious, excited and nervous all at the same time. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping well until all this is done.

PS> As I have my appointments and obtain more information, I'll be posting my journey here.

PSS> An update, I'm now 28 years old and I've been over weight for as long as I can remember, so believe it or not I'm scared to lose the amount of weight I'm going to lose and hope I still recognize myself in the mirror.

Things are good...

I've been over the depression for a while. I'm not sure what that was or where it came from, but I'm glad I got it under control. I got my finances in check and things are good.

I'm thinking I should be hearing from the bariatric clinic soon for my first appointment. I'm glad I've had this time, to really make sure this is what I want and that I'm in the right frame of mind to go through the process of it all. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.