Update...

It has been four and half months since I had my surgery. To date I have lost approximately 90 pounds and have gone from a size 26 (3-4x) to a size 16 (XL). I couldn’t be happier about my progress, I never though in August that I would be in a size 16 by December.

Last night when I went to buy new jeans, I took a size 18 to the dressing room and couldn’t believe they were big. I stood there and actually contemplated going out and getting a size 16, because I couldn’t believe it was possible. When I tried the 16’s on I almost cried. I know that sounds strange, unless you’ve been big your whole life, it’s hard to explain the feeling of fitting into a regular size. I’ve never been a size smaller then 20 before and 16 just seem so strange and new.

I am struggling a bit with the emotional side of losing so much weight. When I look into the mirror, I still see that size 26 girl staring back at me. Logically I know I’ve lost weight and that I’m smaller, but it’s hard to get my head around it.

4 Mionths out...

It’s been a while since I’ve thought about this blog. It’s funny because before the surgery, it’s all you can think about and then after, you just want to get back to normal and live your everyday life. I guess that’s what I’ve been doing.

I love my sleeve, I’m almost 4 months out and I’m down 70 pounds. I starting see the effects of being on such a low caloric diet though. My iron is really low and so now along with having to take a multivitamin for the rest of my life I have to take iron too. Small price to pay I know, but I hate taking pills on the regular. Being low in iron though is awful, I mean forget the fact that you’re so tired you can sleep 10 hours every night and still want to keep sleeping, but the hair loss and the skin issues suck. I’m still waiting for my iron stores to increase enough to fix these problems.

I’m surprise though how little I eat now and how well I’ve adjusted to that. I still get head hunger sometimes, but I’ve learned to recognize that and it’s not difficult to get under control. Eating now doesn’t control me…I control it and that feels great.

I would recommend this surgery to anyone, who has been struggling with their weight their whole life. I feel free from food and I’m so much happy for it.

New Beginning...

After a crazy few weeks, I can finally say I’m doing great and am almost back to normal. Up until this point I haven’t really been up to sitting at a desk long enough to write anything in length. Before the surgery, I actually, though I would be back to work and my life after 2 weeks, but boy was I wrong. The surgery itself went great. My stomach hasn’t given me much trouble and I’m happy to say that in total I have already lost 40 pounds. Anyone who says this is the easy way out though is crazy. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I have been off for 5 weeks and I’m finally returning to work. I had a lot of problems with one of my surgical sites, that caused so much pain I though it was never going to go away, but after a lot of pain killers and anti-inflammatories, I can finally say I’m over the worst and ready to start my new life.

Post-op update...

I know this one is late, but to be honest this surgery has been harder then I thought it would be, at least I can now say I'm on the other side. I had lost 20 pounds on the 3 week liquid diet and another 10 pounds since surgery. It's a lot I know and I'm happy about it, but wow what a process to get here so far.

As I said the surgery was harder then I thought, I was a day longer in the hospital then I expected, bring my stay to 4 days. I was really nauseous the first few days and I had a fever and high pulse, all of which contributed to the extra night. I'm doing better now and keeping down everything I'm eating. I still have pain though and that's annoying, I would have thought by now the pain would be gone and I'm so looking forward to when it is.

I'm still not feeling quite like myself right now and just taking it day by day.

Pre-op and sleep study...

Yesterday I went for my pre-op and internists appointment and found out that they needed me to do a sleep study. I looked at them and said that’s nice, but I leave for my vacation on Saturday and when I get back, I’ll be having my surgery. That left them two nights to squeeze me into an appointment and guess what…they did…last night. It was the single worst experience of my life and I hope I never have to do one again. It felt like torture. I was soooo tired, yet I couldn’t get comfortable and fall asleep because of all the crap attached to me and when I finally did fall asleep they work me up 3 hours later, because it was time to go home…at 5:30 in the morning. Needless to say, with my lack of sleep, pending vacation, followed by my surgery I have not been too productive at work today. If I had been given advance warning regarding the sleep study I probably would have taken the day off, but less then 12 hours notice, didn’t give me much time to plan and research what I was in for.

On another note, the rest of my day yesterday, getting poked and prodded went well. It confirmed my suspension that I am in fact healthy and just over-weight. I’m glad I’ve made this decision though, because as I was giving my family history of high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol, I realized that it’s only a matter of time before I fall into those categorize too, if I don’t do something now.

7 days in, 7 pounds down…

That’s right I am currently losing at a rate of a pound a day and let me tell you it certainly helps keep me going. Being on a liquid diet is hard, there is no doubt about it, but seeing the scale go down helps motivate me to keep going.

I have 2 weeks left and then it is my surgery. I can’t believe how fast it is approaching. I’m trying not to think about it and just focusing on getting through this liquid diet phase. Next week I’m on vacation and I fear it’s going to make it harder. At least at work I have a distraction, but on weekends, it’s easy to obsess and think of food constantly. I would imagine the week off would be the same, but hopefully because I will be up at the cottage I will be to busy having fun, swimming and hiking...fingers crossed!

Day 4 of Shakes...

Well I am near the end of my 4th day of my liquid diet. I feel like I am doing better then the first few days. I was a bit bitchy, tired and over all irritable, but now I can say that currently that is behind me. Other then that I seem to have waves of emotional turmoil, I feel like I'm on the verge of a ball. Although I haven't cried yet, I feel like its right there and can happen at anytime. I guess we’ll see what happens…

Balls to the wall...

This past week was my last week before going on a 3 week liquid diet, followed by my surgery. My feeling is, my life as I know it is going to change forever (for the better, I agree), but still I enjoy food and I won’t be able to enjoy it like I do now, so….I went all out. Ate everything I wanted to, as much as I wanted and just over all enjoyed my last week as my life is now. I’m excited to be starting this journey, but I’m happy I went balls to the wall this past week and especially this weekend.

I was in Montreal for a wedding and was with my brother and sister-in-law, who helped me indulge my every whim. We had sinfully delicious crapes, ice cream, big breakfasts, baked good…you name it. I’m sure I gained 10 pounds this weekend alone (I’m exaggerating). Anyway, I’m ready….I had my first shake this morning. They don’t taste very great and I’m sure by week 3 I’ll be choking them down, but I’m looking forward to it. I did want I wanted to do, indulged and now I say let the games begin…BRING IT ON WORLD :)

Its official…I have a DATE…

My wish has been granted, as I received a call last week from the surgeon’s office with a surgery date. Drum roll please…..August 3.

That is less then a month away. I am happy, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. Every now and then, I think I am going to throw up it is so close. I start my 3-week liquid diet next week, after a weekend in Montreal for a wedding. It will be a good last weekend before this all gets started. I will be on vacation the last week of July, at the cottage, which will be hard and good all at the same time. Who knows how spacey I will be by the 3rd week of only liquid. Probably not to productive at work, so it will be good I will be on vacation.

I almost forgot to mention that I will be having the sleeve done and not bypass. I'm very happy about this. Although it was a difficult decisions as the doctor was recommending Bypass. I held my ground and went with my gut and choose the have the sleeve. Fingers crossed all goes well.

So Friday was…”The Day”.

The day I met my surgeon for the first time. Earlier in the week the office called me to change my appointment from 3:00 to 2:00 and also moved it to a further location. I was okay with that, but when we got there on Friday for 2:00 on the nose, we waited until 4:10 before we got in to see him. I was a little annoyed by that, but I guess it is to be expected in the medical field. What got me even more annoyed was the fact they ask you to bring a loved one or family member for support. I wanted to bring my mom, but unfortunately, she was scheduled for a last minute meeting that she absolutely could not get out of, so I ask my brother if he could come. He of course said yes, because I have a wonderful brother, but after asking him to leave work so early, just to sit in a waiting room for over 2 hours and then only seeing the surgeon for 20 minutes…I was disappointed I dragged him out. Oh…and let us not forget about the traffic on the way there and back.

As I mentioned the appointment, itself was only 20 minutes give or take. Because I was already so well versed on the different procedures, we flew by that part of the appointment and really, after that, there was nothing left to talk about. I gave him a brief history and told him which procedure I was interested in most. I was happy to find out that the do perform the sleeve however; do not recommend it due to the lack of data. He advised me I will come back to see him in a few weeks and we will decide then on which procedure is best. Really…the whole appointment felt like a big formality, so it was disappointing to say the least.

This whole thing has proven to be quite the process so far. At this point I'm looking to get all this over with and put it behind me, so that i can move on with my new life.

Introduction to my new life...

Yesterday was my introduction to weight loss surgery. I was surprised that I was the youngest one there. I don’t even think there were people in there 30’s. Everyone seem to be women in there 40’ and 50’ with grown kids. I was a little disappointed about this. I was hoping I could bond with someone, who is in the same stage of life as I am. Oh well…I digress.

The class was a great learning experience. There wasn’t a lot that I didn’t already know, but it was nice to discuss weight loss surgery, face to face and be able to ask questions with professionals. The funny part was all the fake food, portioned off that, the dietician had spread all over the table. We all took turns trying to figure out what they were supposed to be, for example, the “hamburger” looking like a piece of shit...LOL

I walked out feeling a little indifferent. I would like to think I can lose the weight on my own and that I don’t need something as drastic as weight loss surgery, but then the practical and logical side tells me if I could, I would. However, is that the truth or am I just lazy and don’t want to put forth the effort it would take to lose weight on my own and keep it off? I don’t know. I do know that I have been over weight all of my life…so something must be telling my body to be fat instead of thin.

It's about time...

So my journey is set to officially begin this week on Wednesday, when I go to a 3-hour information session, followed by my first appointment with my surgeon on Friday.

I’ve been trying not to obsess about the outcome and the future since my last post and I think I have been relatively successful in that. I have told my family and close friends and have been getting good feedback. The people I have told have known me for a long time and know I don’t do anything on a whim and that I am a research queen, so most everyone said good for you and we support any decision you make. They also know that I have been overweight since a child and are happy for me that I have made this decision.

I’ve been reading many blogs and watching many YouTube weight loss journeys. It has been very helpful to read and watch people who are going through the same thing as me. Sometimes it makes me sad and angry that we all have to deal with this and how simpler life could have been if weight wasn’t an issue, but such is life and I must move on.

I’m still anxious to get this going and wished I were on the other side. I want to embrace and learn from this experience too, but if I could just snap my fingers, it would be this time next year.

I want to thank everyone, who has the courage to write about there journeys and even more to the individuals who have the balls to post it in a video. I’m not sure I’m willing to put in the time to do that, but I’m grateful for the individuals who do.

Bucket List...

So I've decided to start somewhat of a bucket list (100 Things to do Before You Die) and I'm writing down all the things I want to do once I'm thin. I'm not even close to 100, but here is what I have so far:

Rock Climbing
Skydiving
Get a tattoo
Run a marathon
Zip line
Whitewater rafting

So far it is all very active things I feel I am limited in doing now because of my weight. I have this list on my iPhone and whenever i think of something new I add it on. I have decided for sure that I'm going to go sky diving before my 30th birthday in Sept 2011 and I should be under the weight limit by then (fingers crossed).

I’m making myself crazy…

Okay so I’m not a spontaneous person. I like to plan and know what the end result will be before getting myself involved in anything and this surgery is driving me crazy. I know I can’t know what I’m going to look like and how much weight I’m going to lose, but that hasn’t stopped me from going on YouTube and watching before and afters and watching peoples journeys through weight loss surgery. I was up until 1:00 last night and surprise, surprise I couldn’t sleep when I finally turned off my iphone and when I did finally fall asleep, I was wakened by dreams (nightmares) of what I’m going to look like.

New rule…no iphone in bed and no more obsessing about what is too come or what the end result will be. I need to take this one-step at a time and chill out (easier said then done, I know).

And my journey begins…

That is I received a call this week to set up my first appointment for bariatric surgery. My first appointment is in a month and no sooner did they book that one, but they followed it up with an e-mail that same day with 5 more appointments booked…over whelming, I know. My mind is spinning; I can’t stop thinking about how this could really happen before the year is up. My whole life is going to change as I know it, people won’t even recognize me and I’m afraid I won’t be able to recognize myself. I have so many questions for the surgeon. I’ve done all the research I can online and now the only ones who can answer my questions are the people at the clinic. I’m anxious, excited and nervous all at the same time. I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping well until all this is done.

PS> As I have my appointments and obtain more information, I'll be posting my journey here.

PSS> An update, I'm now 28 years old and I've been over weight for as long as I can remember, so believe it or not I'm scared to lose the amount of weight I'm going to lose and hope I still recognize myself in the mirror.

Things are good...

I've been over the depression for a while. I'm not sure what that was or where it came from, but I'm glad I got it under control. I got my finances in check and things are good.

I'm thinking I should be hearing from the bariatric clinic soon for my first appointment. I'm glad I've had this time, to really make sure this is what I want and that I'm in the right frame of mind to go through the process of it all. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.